I think after years of being with someone it takes more work to keep it working. You both can get into a rut and then it feels like the grinds aren’t moving correctly. Sometimes people let that rut and mundane routine get to them and they break up. Which is tragic. For others, people like me, I like to get that can out and oil the machine so to speak. We have to keep things spicy sometimes to make things work again correctly.
I like to explore things even if at first the sound of doing it isn’t something I might be interested in. I used to have a LONG list of Nopes, but now I have changed it to a list of Try and see if you actually like it.
Part of keeping things interesting in a relationship to keep the sex fresh is to know and learn your partner’s needs. I never like to plan sexual encounters, I like to be spur of the moment, but sometimes you have to pay attention to the situation. If your partner is tired, not feeling well, etc. These come into play. If you want to try something new, then make sure that you have the supplies needed to try it.
Sometimes I initiate our sexual encounters but I don’t just push Silas to the bed and tell him what’s going on. I always initiate it in a submissive manner. I will kiss on the parts of his body that turn him on. I will beg him to use me, I will whimper and tell him that I am eager and needy. Granted there are other things too, I like to watch porn, I like to Rp dirty naughty things, all of which are things that can bring arousal to my Dominant, and inform him that I am aching to be taken.
Good thing I am not ashamed of things that interest me!!!
I mean granted back in the day before Silas I was so embarrassed to admit things that I wanted to experience. I never admitted my own needs, or wants, or fantasies. Maybe once in a while on my blog I would hint about something here or there, but admitting it to a person’s face to face. Was a Nope! However, with Silas, he has encouraged me to open up. He has accepted me for my fantasies, my needs, my desires, and has never made me feel ignorant or like an outcast because of them.
It makes it easy for Silas and I to be partners in a relationship and a sexual one at that. I can tell him that today I am feeling like I want to do anal training, or maybe I feel like being a pet, and eating out of my little pet bowls. I can ask for knife play, of sensory deprivation and Silas is usually down to playing with me in all things. Never once have I ever felt ashamed, a little silly but after that first initial time after that, it’s all fun.
Silas makes it better by adhering to our safewords, but I have to admit I haven’t really ever had the need to call them.
I have never met another person so in tune with my life as I have with Silas. It has been a truly wonderful journey and rides being his girl, and I am eager for many many MANY more years of this life sharing it with him.