You would never see someone back in the 1950’s dressed in leather and chains and being led on a leash down the street. Sexual desires, kinks, and fetishes have always been hidden behind closed doors. Back in time people were even punished criminally, and religiously for having a kink and fulfilling it.
Even though most is still not 100 percent accepted in society today, and still remain behind closed doors for the most part. Though I hate to admit it, books like Fifty Shades of Grey, though terrible as it is, and damning to the Kink community, has been well accepted among vanilla people. It has shined a light on this world, that is opening doors for people to be more widely accepted in the lifestyle.
I am not certain a hundred percent why it has remained so well hidden over the years. My theory is that most of the negative feedback on it has to stem from religion, which plays a huge part in our society has been shaped. Religion teaches us to be modest, and not seek out pleasure as a means to be happy. We are also taught in most religions that violence, desire, fantasies, are all forbidden and should never truly be acted upon.
Hell, even dreaming about it and thinking it is considered a sin!!!
Then you have people who are ashamed they won’t be accepted for who they are if people reveal their true selves. It is why we in the lifestyle, still want to be discreet, and not let people know what we enjoy doing. At least most of us hide. There are kinks I am very open about in my day to day life. Though I have a few that would make people gasp, and even some in the lifestyle as well, that I tend to keep to myself and only permit someone truly close to me, to know them.
So because of this, we inhibit ourselves to not be true to ourselves. We are conditioned over time while being raised to behave and think a certain way. Even now people are just starting to break gender roles. Homosexuality is now starting to be accepted. So why would anyone come out and openly say what kinks they are involved in?
Would you even come out to your family like you would if you were Gay?
How would you even do that? Hi mom and dad, I am into Gangbangs, just saying. laughs to me it is no one’s business anyway, but I don’t hide it all, all the time. My family knows I am into BDSM, they know I go to local BDSM clubs and dungeons. They know I am submissive and that my Spouse is my Dominant.
I do not wear my collar around the family. Though my sister in law does. She and my brother are also into the lifestyle. I choose not to do so in front of children. Our daughter knows about it as well, but we don’t exploit it in front of her. If she has questions we answer honestly and educate her. We don’t want her being raised under societies rules. We want her to be open and accepting of people.
Of course, these are just a small bit of my theories. I am a huge advocate for safety, within the world, not just our lifestyle. I know some people would hurt you if they knew things you were into. No one in my family, outside of those that live in my house know that I even have a little side.
Frankly, it is no one’s business and you don’t owe anyone by telling them about you either. If you prefer to keep your life a secret, do it. If that is what makes you happy. If you don’t want to live your life in secrecy then let others know. Don’t be upset if people don’t accept you for it though. Everyone has their qualms.