We Are Different – P70


My Dominant and I are two very different people. So much so it often causes conflicts. I wouldn’t necessarily say that my Dominant does things better than I, or I better than Him. I would simply say we do things differently as people. This of course often leads to some frustrations. For example, my Dominant drives differently. He is a kind driver, watchful of the situation, doesn’t road rage. Me on the other hand, I want to get where I am going as fast and safe as possible. I road rage, and when he drives I whine, and go:

Driving Miss Daisy!!!

Other areas are things like writing. We don’t write better than each other, just differently. I am more about needing a topic, or something to inspire me, my Dominant can just write off the top of his head. He is very talented, but this sometimes is also a conflict. Especially with our blog. We agreed to do this blog together and granted I post my entries to three different places, but when I do blog, its..a Topic, Deadline, Post. With my Dominant, he simply decides to write whenever he feels like it.

I never believe anyone is better than someone else. It is just different styles. You may load the dishwasher with your plates, in order from larger plates to little plates facing all one side. I may decide to put them, large, little, large little. They still get clean. Doesn’t mean one person is better, smarter, faster than someone else. Besides, I am certain things I do differently than my Dominant, likely drive him bonkers.

Most likely the fact I want to talk about EVERYTHING!!!

I try to write a lot about the bad stuff between us, as well as the good. No one’s relationship is perfect and most of what we share are great things between us, but no one would ever know from reading our blog, or talking to us, that we have a rocky relationship. The last conversation we had with regards to our relationship was addressing the lack of D/s in our relationship we have been having for a while.

Let alone we have needed to redo our contract, and have been working on that. Over time things change, people change, needs wants, kinks, limits they just change. We grow and evolve as people. So we have had to discuss this intensely. Our contract is officially finished, and we will be printing it and signing it here in a day or two.

I am Super Excited!!!

However, during this new contract building, it was very different. We had a long conversation over many things, and the most is the lack of consistency. Where my Dominant would create a rule or a protocol, and then I would follow it, but he would forget he had created it. One of them was when we are out dining, I am to stand beside the table until he instructs me where to sit. We do not go out to dine often, because I prefer cooking and home cooked meals, so when I did it, and he actually asked me what I was doing, I had to remind him.

It isn’t always him either. He will tell me to do something and I will forget because my memory is crap. So we opted to do something different. We started fresh. New Rules, New Protocols, things that we figure will work for us. We are going to do ONE rule every two-three weeks. Really dive into this rule, and then memorize it. Apply it. Then move on to the next down the list.

With my memory problem, I think this will work for us!!!

Which has been working for us lately? I have felt that much more submissive, and I can see a shift in my Dominant. A positive one. We even started watching a few more erotic shows. One of them tells us and teaches us about couples, spicing up the relationship, and we applied a few of their things they teach. It was phenomenal.

We were trying OM, which is like a meditation for orgasms. You experience orgasms, without actually have an actual orgasm. It is hard to explain but as we did it, my Dominant decided to shift our scene to actual sex. I squirted four times. I have a trouble squirting once, but the combination of the OM practice, the shift to actual intercourse, and my Dominant treating me like his dirty little slut, that I am…just…was mind-blowing.

It was the sexiest experience so far we have had.

Which is saying a lot, because there have been some other moments which have been high contenders. So I am grateful for the moments like these I get with my Dominant. I know we are going to have even more. We have decided to incorporate some pet play. We haven’t really done this yet, but we are excited. Aside from me being his submissive, his slave, and his little, I now get to be his pet.

I am so excited to explore our relationship, our dynamic, our love for each other, and yes his Dominance, and my submission.

I love you, my Master!!!


The Infamous Murder Duck


It was the dark of night, and the lightning flared
Everyone was inside! No one outside dared
To be seen, for a deal had been struck!
From the pits of hell, rose the murder duck!

Feathers like razors and a bill of jagged steel
It’s not an eagle, a hawk or an owl
You’ll wish you were dead because all you’ll feel!
Is the gnashing beak, of a murder most foul.

I went to the crossroads, with the head of a fish
With the ritual read, I laid out my sinister wish
a voice quacked out, I don’t give a fuck!
You’ll need more than that, to summon murder duck!

Feathers like Razors and a bill of jagged steel
It’s not an eagle, a hawk or an owl
You’ll wish you were dead because all you’ll feel!
is the gnashing beak, of a murder most foul.

In every house, swung open the front doors
not a sound was made, as blood covered the floors
behind webbed prints in each living space?
Was a trail of victims, he had eaten every face.

Feathers like Razors and a bill of jagged steel
It’s not an eagle, a hawk or an owl
You’ll wish you were dead because all you’ll feel!
is the gnashing beak, of a murder most foul!

So the moral of the story in all of its place
Be careful what you wish for, or HE’LL EAT YOUR FACE!!!!

By Deka and Farid

Not every little is always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes we like to be Scary Littles or better known as Skittles…

So for all of our Skittles out there….my Infamous Murder Duck…

Thank you, Farid, for helping me write this song!!!!

Passing The Torch – P66


Our daughter is sixteen years old and though we don’t flaunt our lifestyle directly, in regards to me being naked, collared, and fetish stuff, she knows about our dynamic. She sometimes hears me call him Daddy or Master and I have had a long LONG talk with her about alternative lifestyles. Whether they are homosexual, BDSM, Poly, etc. I never wanted our daughter to grow up with a closed mind.

So, if our daughter ever came to us saying mom, I am submissive, or I am dominant, I wouldn’t be upset or angry. In fact, I would help her. Get her education, buy her books, show her how to be safe online, and how to find safe partners.

Let’s face it, there are some nut jobs out there!!!

I support her in anything she wants to do or be, and why would I be upset for her admission to being kinky? Our whole lifestyle is about not judging people, or kink shaming, etc. I would NEVER shame her for being into the lifestyle. I would just ask her to be safe, and let her know, this lifestyle is truly hard. Much harder than vanilla relationships, but it doesn’t negate anything. ALL relationships, intimate or platonic are sometimes difficult to maintain.

I think that is one reason why I love my master so much. I hold him accountable, and he holds me accountable even when I hate it that he does. He empowers me to continue to do this and validates my feelings in regards to times I feel wronged. He also empowers me to know that I am worth anything in this world and he encourages me to be a better person.

Even when I am being a big brat!!!

Trust me, I can be the most stubborn person when it comes to people holding me accountable for my actions. I hate to admit I have ever done anything wrong, but once I calm down and realize it, then I am a mess, and instead of leaving me and telling me how horrible of a person I am, my master is there to hold me and tell me he loves me, and that my behavior was not alright.

He just empowers me completely to strive to be better than I was the day before.

I mean what more can a pretty little princess like me ask for? A good Dominant that handles me well, meshes with me well and has never ever violated any of my hard limits. He makes sure I am safe and okay during scenes, and he loves me unconditionally. I am the luckiest woman in all the world.

Punishing a Dom – P65


No relationship is perfect and certainly not mine. I have made mistakes in my own relationship with my temper which we are learning is not just a temper its something we think is called IED. Regardless I am working on my anger issues and master is helping me. Just as I am not perfect and make mistakes, so does my master.

Anyone that says a Dominant does NOT make mistakes…is wrong!!!

My Dominant/Daddy/Master has committed several severe grievances in our relationship. Normally in the past, I would have given him the finger and told him to get the hell out of my life. That was what I always did whenever someone committed a crime against me. It was lonely, and it is so hard for me to forgive people and just let things go. So it was always easier for me to excommunicate someone from my life then keep them around.

It is also hard to rebuild or earn trust in my life, but ever since I have been with my current Dominant, these past three years I feel like I have changed for the better. He makes me want to better my life and become a better person. So now I am learning to work through my hurt and pain, and learning to forgive because I have had to understand people aren’t perfect and they make mistakes.

So yes, when my master makes mistakes, I do my best to not just throw the towel in!

I do not, however, turn around and beat my master with a whip or make him do sentences, there is no point in that. I am the submissive in the relationship, not him. What I do however hold him accountable. I inform him whatever it was he did that is truly affected me. That it either hurt me or caused me pain, that I did not like it or appreciate it, and then tell him that I do not think what he did was not okay with our relationship.

I won’t lie, sometimes that talk comes AFTER my blowing up and yelling or having a crying fit!!!

but regardless he brings me back to earth, and then we discuss why I feel this way, or how we can work through it. He is made aware that it wasn’t okay, and then we discuss why I feel it isn’t okay. It takes a long time for me to be accepting of whatever he did. Sometimes things he does I am never okay with. It still affects me but he makes sure not to do it anymore, which is a step in the correct direction.

I can honestly say three years ago, for some of the things he has done, I would have left in a heartbeat. The fact I have stuck it out with my Dominant and worked with both his issues and my own, and the fact he sticks around still because of my own issues, means the world to me. It means we are growing as people and as a couple.

I am so lucky to have found my other half, my soul mate, my master!!!

I hurt him today, and it didn’t hurt me!


I hurt him today and for once it didn’t hurt me to do it. What did hurt was how I felt. That I feel like I am just waiting for the hammer to fall. I feel that the goodbye is just around the corner. I feel alone. I feel that he doesn’t have my back the way he says he does. I feel that maybe I am not as strong as I think I am?

He has a friend who is owned by someone else, and in my own opinion, is a shit Dominant. They have a long distance relationship, and they play games, together online to spend time together, but mostly he just fucks off to do his own shit, and she spirals.

Enter My Dominant, as he friend!!!

They talk about stuff, and he encourages her to talk to her Dominant, to hold him accountable, and everything. She is a total bitch to me. Instead of being nice, when she has an issue with me. She doesn’t come to me, she instead is a coward, and says it to him, and avoids me. Not Cool

We role-play together in second life, in Gor. Where she is a slave girl, and I am a free woman, but she avoids me, and when she has to interact with me, she is completely rude. She doesn’t like interacting with free women. Well…Boo Hoo. She thinks I hate her, because of how my character behaves, which was total nonsense.

Makes me laugh, to be honest.

So at one time, my Master had asked me to tone down some of my role-play. I am an intense writer, and I am extremely knowledgeable in Gorean Role-play. I won’t change who I am, nor apologize for it, just because of someone whines. I stick true to my character!

I mean come on if you were playing dungeons and dragons, and you wouldn’t change your character randomly to suit someone else’s needs. You would simply say, well, these are my stats, and this is how I choose to roll. So for him to ask me to tone it down, was not okay.

Fast forward to today. Where he asked me if I wanted to continue to role-play with her if she was cool with it. WHY?? Why does this need to be asked? Either she shuts her pie hole and just comes around, or she doesn’t. That is her choice. I told him I was sick of her rude role-play, and he retorted:

Well, she is sick of yours too!!!

So that set me off. It was hard for him to keep me from detaching during that small argument. I really believe he was taking her side in things. I really believe that there is a hint of something more in their friendship. Had it been ANYONE else, and have they not been friends outside of Role-play, I guarantee he would have just told them to get to stepping!!!

This has happened before, so it makes me just sit here waiting for the inevitable. Which hurts him. It hurt him for me to say stuff like this. Ultimately it is how I feel. I cannot help that how I am feeling hurts him. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. That he won’t revert to his old ways. That he won’t neglect me again. Things with us have been going great, and then wham out of nowhere, a cloud of doom!

But I am devastated right now!!!

I hurt him today and it didn’t hurt me to do it. I love him with all of my heart and soul. He is my Master. He is my everything. I do not hide things from him, and I try to communicate as best as I can, but I cannot change how I feel about this situation. Something stupid, a video game. Some dumb woman that lives in Canada. I really feel there is something more, and I cannot shake it.

I just really want to turn this feeling off. I want to detach and ignore it never have to feel it again. I know there isn’t more, he said so. I trust him, but there is that little voice in the corner of my mind covered in cobwebs telling me to look and think outside the box.

We will get through this stupid spat of ours!!!

We always work through our issues and my anxiety. I know that is what this ultimately is. Just my anxiety. I know it sounds selfish that I should be dying inside right now for hurting his feelings with my own, but really, for the first time in my life, I really feel I don’t have to feel apologetic for how I feel. For once I feel validated and not worthless.

Despite how I feel about this situation, my Master. I do love you with all of my heart. I am still striving to be pleasing, obedient, loved, and wanted. I will continue to serve you as best as I can, and be proud to be your submissive. I will not give up, nor surrender to any argument we have. It will never defeat us. I know once you get home from work tonight we will have a long conversation about my feelings, and you will hold me, I will cry because it is silly nonsense.

But until then…

I love you!!!


Erotic Hypnosis – Exploring Kink




Erotic Hypnosis is a new kink/avenue of training I have begun to explore. I had always come across it in porn or hypothetical mention, but I have never actually seen it done, in person. Raw and uncut. I am not even sure if it is actually something that truly works, or if people only believe so much in its power that they imagine it works. I am not sure, but the idea of it truly working, fascinates me.


It was not, originally, my own idea to explore this kink. It was actually Deka’s passing remark that intrigued me. We were, of course, watching porn and a girl was going through BDSM training. She was forced to watch a video with random flashes of pictures of an erotic nature. The idea was that it sends subliminal messages to your brain that trains you to think more like the focus topic. It would be an erotic scene to tie a submissive to a chair, gag them, and force them to watch hypnosis videos that train their mind to be more of a whore. After watching it for hours, see how it affects them mentally. Do they feel more submissive? Less submissive? Is subspace more obtainable? I feel like this may be a proper research experiment. So, being the man I am, I will post my hypothesis, my theories, and then perhaps the science behind it after doing more research.
I presume that my submissive will feel more submissive and aroused when she is forced to watch these videos against her will.
She shall be tied to a chair/bed, gagged, plugged, and a vibrator between her thighs. Headphones will be placed in her ears. After watching the conditioning video check for physical differences/ heightened state of arousal.



Stay Tuned in the coming weeks for the conclusion of my experiment.
Conduct your own. I would love to see your findings and hear about your experiences in Hypno Kink!

Our Strength – P64


Strength is not measured in muscle mass, or your ridiculous body index numbers. Anyone telling you otherwise is an imbecile. Strength is so much more than that. It is your mental ability to cope and handle certain situations. It is your fight or flights response, and the courage to stand up for things you believe in, even when you stand alone. Strength is to stand up and defend those that cannot do so themselves. Strength is also giving up the power of making your own decisions and placing your life, and safety into the hands of someone else.

It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. To submit myself to a Dominant and allow them complete control of my life, my decisions, and my welfare. I am very opinionated, independent, and I have always been raised to never seek anyone to do things for me. I have always stood up to protect my beliefs and others who could not protect themselves. So for me to kneel, submit my life into my Dom’s hands is a struggle. Especially since I have trust issues. These issues were from my past, but I have to have such deep trust in my Dom that he will have, and always have my best interest and safety in control and first priority.

I have always needed a strict and strong hand to guide me, but I am learning that in my submission I always need compassion and kindness. There is strength everywhere, and it does not always come out in the forms we are expecting. Sometimes I have caught myself being bratty because I want something out of my Dominant that I feel I am not getting. He never gives in to my bratty side, which is good. Instead, we talk about it, and I have learned it is a matter of perception. When I feel I am not being dominated or feel as if I am actually serving him I need to look at it from a different perspective.

For example, I cook dinner at home. I don’t cook it just for my Dominant. We have a roommate, a child, etc. Everyone needs to eat, and here I have been thinking, oh Deka is just the house cook. It became a mundane chore and I began to hate it. So my Dominant talked to me about it. He said for me to think about it like this. He works all the time, he comes extremely hungry and yes I cook for the whole house, but really I am doing this because it is pleasing. I guess I just sometimes lose my perception of things.

I Don’t Need him to say DEKA…You HAVE to do this!

Sometimes it is just a routine task that feels like a chore, and I have realized this and felt better knowing that even if its something I do all the time, even for more than just my Dominant I am actually in his service at all times. My Dominant is the right kind of strong and soft. He knows when to be either side, and we are doing our best to communicate with each other. I am very good at recognizing a Domineering ass hat, so I don’t take crap from men who say the.

It’s my way or the highway!!!

I will gladly leave because you know what. BULLSHIT. It takes two to fucking tango. It’s a two-way street. You cant be a Dominant without your submissive, and your submissive can’t be one with their Dominant. You can feel Dom or Sub, but each side compliments each other, and if you abuse your power or submission, you will be alone. So I think when it comes to my own submission, I need the right kind of strength and softness in my lifestyle.

Which works wonders because sometimes I have rage fits. I wish I could stop them from happening, but it is part of my anxiety and as much as I try to control them, they boil over. I can feel it happening, my blood gets hot, my body gets hot, I start to see red, and as much as I try to just breathe, it pops and I blow. My Dominant has to be extremely stronger than I to handle me in this situation.

He says sometimes we just need to argue!!!

Which sometimes I think it is healthy. Most of the time I don’t and I keep looking for new methods to help control my anger issues. The best thing I have is that for three years, well almost three years, my Dominant does not just let me argue and fight and scream and then cry alone. He always comes in and sometimes at first I hate it. I yell at him to leave me alone, but he doesn’t. He knows deep down I just need him to be beside me, holding me, and though I fight with him about it. He is there for me.

Everyone still wants to share the pictures of the perfect moments. A good rigging scene, a girl kneeling at her Dom’s feet. Him walking her on a leash. No one wants to share the pictures of them arguing. The moment he gives her a command and she tells him No. What it looks like when he sits in a chair, his head in his hands, and she has locked herself in a room, crying in a corner on the floor.

You don’t get to see the moments when the submissive has had enough and she throws her rings back at her Dominant and tells him to get out. They don’t show you the cuts on the arm of the man who loves a woman, and the stress of their relationship has caused him to hurt himself.

Relationships are not perfect!!!

If you don’t fight, have disagreements, argue even in a D/s relationship then you aren’t passionate enough about each other. We don’t argue that often, we are generally happy but we have our moments. What our strength in our relationship comes down to, is each other. He is my rock when I need him to be. He is my strength when I feel like I have none of my own. He is soft when I need a tender hand and true love when he tells me how much he needs me. He is so much more than any of this, and I know deep down, even when I tell him…Pfft whatever, that I am everything and more to him.

Our strength is our communication and understanding of each other’s needs. Knowing that no matter what life throws at us, we will face it together. We trust and love each other, and sure. We fight and argue, but in the end, we get right back to each other. We get back to our dynamic. We get back to Us! Just Little Deka, and her Master.

So when it comes down to it, I am still pretty young, and so is my Dominant. We write about things, our own experiences, and we are just happy that sometimes it inspires other people, or opens their eyes. All I ask of older generations in our lifestyle is to do the same. Educate people to be safe in our community. Share your experiences, no matter how embarrassing, or painful, or even exciting it was. You don’t have to use personal names, but sharing is the best way to educate.

Always be Safe, Sane, and Consensual!!!

Equality in D/s…This is Our Love – P63


I do not believe that in any D/s relationship you are unequal on any level whatsoever. You are both equal people in the world. Not one side is more important than the other. You can’t enjoy being a Dominant without a submissive, and you can’t enjoy being a submissive without a Dominant. They exist equally in the world. Just because one chooses to the kneel and serve, and the other chooses to lead and guide, does not matter at all. For people who believe differently in my own personal opinion need to educate more.

You cannot just go out, and demand this, demand that, without fulfilling the needs of your partner. That is why it is so hard to find decent D/s relationships. The Needs must be met on BOTH sides. I hear all the time that a submissive needs to give up their wants, and desires and just serve the needs of their Dominant. Now while I agree that a submissive needs to let go and trust their partner they need to understand.

THIS is a TWO WAY street!!!

Sure a submissive shouldn’t look at serving as…What do I get out of it? More as, what can I continue to do to be more pleasing, BUT…and there is a BIG BUT, a Dominant is there to also fulfill needs a submissive has as well. Everyone comes into a relationship, Vanilla, D/s BDSM, M/s etc. Looking for something. Each person is different, each relationship is different. However, you try being a Dominant that just takes. Takes this, takes that, take take take, and you see how long your submissive will put up with your Domineering behavior.

Guess what……They Won’t!!!

The same goes for submissives. You go in, wanting to be given a million orgasms, be taken care of, and whatever else you come into the relationship needing, see how far that gets you, when you do the same thing. Take, Take, Take….That Dominant will call you on your shit, topping from the bottom, etc. You will get kicked to the curb.

This is why communication is key. Needs MUST be discussed, and both sides must agree to meet these needs. If you cant, move on. This is why each side of the spectrum, Ying, and yang, are both equal. You can’t have one without the other.

This is also why it is so hard to keep a D/s relationship working, more than any vanilla one. Both have their parts to fill, like in my current relationship. My Dominant works so much, and he has me not working, as does health reasons, but he chooses me to stay home. It is my duty to care for the house, raise our kid, and cook.

Sometimes this bothers me. I LOVE to work, and sometimes I feel like I am not entitled to our finances, or to want anything because I feel like I do not really have a say since I don’t work. My Dominant disagrees, and every time I have discussed getting a job, he tells me no. This is OUR dynamic, but it also hinders us. Mainly because my Dominant is tired when he gets home from work, and I might have a need to have a scene, or maintenance spankings, or to be tied up etc.

We all have our needs right?

However, my Master gets tired. Maybe that day he has a bad pain day and just needs to cuddle. If you do not communicate, you resent each other and eventually break up. It goes the other way too, sometimes my Master wants a scene, but I am hurting so bad, there is just no way I can meet those needs. So it hinders us and has affected our relationship.

We try to push through it as much as possible, and we have our arguments and disagreements just as any relationship does and would. We prevail and it isn’t because he puts his foot down and becomes a tyrant. He has never said, Too bad, I don’t care how tired or in pain you are. You are doing it. I have never said that in return, that you have to give me a million orgasms, or that you have to spank me right now.

I do throw tantrums sometimes!!!

I am sure every submissive does or has. I can get bratty, and my Dominant handles it the way he should. Mostly ignoring the behavior to make it stop, just as you would a toddler, but my tantrums are mostly when I am in my little mindset. Regardless we are both equal. We communicate, we argue, we fight, but in the end, we know that we both NEED each other. We both WANT each other. We both LOVE each other to the point that we want to make this work, no matter how far off the path we get.

He is my equal, my partner and my Dominant. My Master, my world, my everything. Without him, I am just an empty shell, and though I choose to kneel, serve, and please him as best as I am capable, in no way, shape or form will I ever NOT be his equal.

This is how we love each other, we fight, we argue, we cry, we love, we stomp our feet, and we give in, to our needs, our desires, our passion, for each other.

I don’t think it makes us different from the next couple, I just think it makes us happy. That is all I really care about, our happiness, HIS happiness, our needs, our agreed relationship. OUR Dynamic…

Learning To Love Myself


So my Dominant planned a day at the beach. He wanted new pictures since he had me go back to my blonde. Which is ultimately my natural hair color, but my Master knows that I have issues with how I look. I accept most of myself, but I have moments where my past consumes me and those voices that put me down are there.

Mostly it is things my father has said to me. About how I am not pretty enough which is why he refuses to hang a picture of me on his wall. Or how women only have two things in life, their looks and their brains, so I should focus on my education more. The best one was where my father told me that I was a liability to the family.

Try as I may, I do my hardest to ignore these negative memories, but come on, we all have our bad days. Days where we feel like crap and those insecurities pop back up again. This happened on the day Master planned an awesome trip for us. My insecurities popped up and I became a brat. Luckily Master understands and just helped me work through it. Reassuring me. Telling me to breathe, and how beautiful I was. How much he wanted and loved me.


After all of my meltdown Master and I left for the beach. We ate lunch, walked in the water (it was too cold to swim in it) and then took some pictures of me in my collar. Soon I will get a new one, but it was a great day. Master even got me to show a little bit more of my body. Which is extremely hard for me to do.

Due to some health reasons in the past, I went up in weight to 320 pounds. I barely ate, and all I did was gain weight. We still do not know why. So I carefully changed my diet, more towards a vegetarian sort of thing. However, I ate chicken every day. I just love chicken too much. More protein intake, and fats, fewer carbs. I don’t think I ate bread for months.

Lost 100 lbs very fast!!!

Which is awesome but sucked as well, have some extra skin which causes me to feel less attractive, but I am learning to accept myself more. Master is helping me, and I have some motivational stuff I watch, and a girl I follow on Instagram whom I adore.

So, my Master says I am beautiful JUST the way I am. That he loves me, and I need to learn to love myself. Master is of course correct. I need to love myself. I need to embrace my flaws, and instead of viewing them negatively, view them as the most beautiful parts of me.

So Today I am Vowing to myself. To Love every part of me!

Every stretch mark, blemish, extra flabby skin, my chicken wings, my short hair, freckles, moles, every last bit of me that I find totally and utterly disgusting, is now beautiful, exciting, vibrant, full of life, and will be loved just as the best parts of me are.

Just as my Master loves and adores me, so too will I love myself. I will do my best to ignore the insecurities, and drown out those voices that tell me I am not good enough, that I am not pretty, or desirable.

Screw Societies standards, I am perfect just the way I am!!!

Kink and Shame – P62


You would never see someone back in the 1950’s dressed in leather and chains and being led on a leash down the street. Sexual desires, kinks, and fetishes have always been hidden behind closed doors. Back in time people were even punished criminally, and religiously for having a kink and fulfilling it.

Even though most is still not 100 percent accepted in society today, and still remain behind closed doors for the most part. Though I hate to admit it, books like Fifty Shades of Grey, though terrible as it is, and damning to the Kink community, has been well accepted among vanilla people. It has shined a light on this world, that is opening doors for people to be more widely accepted in the lifestyle.

I am not certain a hundred percent why it has remained so well hidden over the years. My theory is that most of the negative feedback on it has to stem from religion, which plays a huge part in our society has been shaped. Religion teaches us to be modest, and not seek out pleasure as a means to be happy. We are also taught in most religions that violence, desire, fantasies, are all forbidden and should never truly be acted upon.

Hell, even dreaming about it and thinking it is considered a sin!!!

Then you have people who are ashamed they won’t be accepted for who they are if people reveal their true selves. It is why we in the lifestyle, still want to be discreet, and not let people know what we enjoy doing. At least most of us hide. There are kinks I am very open about in my day to day life. Though I have a few that would make people gasp, and even some in the lifestyle as well, that I tend to keep to myself and only permit someone truly close to me, to know them.

So because of this, we inhibit ourselves to not be true to ourselves. We are conditioned over time while being raised to behave and think a certain way. Even now people are just starting to break gender roles. Homosexuality is now starting to be accepted. So why would anyone come out and openly say what kinks they are involved in?

Would you even come out to your family like you would if you were Gay?

How would you even do that? Hi mom and dad, I am into Gangbangs, just saying. laughs to me it is no one’s business anyway, but I don’t hide it all, all the time. My family knows I am into BDSM, they know I go to local BDSM clubs and dungeons. They know I am submissive and that my Spouse is my Dominant.

I do not wear my collar around the family. Though my sister in law does. She and my brother are also into the lifestyle. I choose not to do so in front of children. Our daughter knows about it as well, but we don’t exploit it in front of her. If she has questions we answer honestly and educate her. We don’t want her being raised under societies rules. We want her to be open and accepting of people.

Of course, these are just a small bit of my theories. I am a huge advocate for safety, within the world, not just our lifestyle. I know some people would hurt you if they knew things you were into. No one in my family, outside of those that live in my house know that I even have a little side.

Frankly, it is no one’s business and you don’t owe anyone by telling them about you either. If you prefer to keep your life a secret, do it. If that is what makes you happy. If you don’t want to live your life in secrecy then let others know. Don’t be upset if people don’t accept you for it though. Everyone has their qualms.

As long as you are happy, and you love and accept yourself, who cares what anyone else thinks?